Here am I

O how I wish I had time in my pocket. I could pull it out and adjust accordingly. I could speed it up and alleviate problems or speed along anxiety. I could slow it down and make love linger or extend the stay of peace. I would be the conductor and the executer. I would be the proud and I would be the powerful.

But this is not the case. I am no god. I am the weak and I am the needy. I am the poor in spirit and I am the crying soul.

I am losing seconds because I play the timekeeper. I crank away minutes, hours, and even days. I am losing my life because I wish the future to be now. I want seasons to change quicker than the sun sets. I want life to turn over to the moment that is easy and comfortable.

I find yet again that I cannot bring the future to the present any faster than has been set from the beginning of it all. However, I can blur the present to appear as a fast-forward; I can blur so that tomorrow arrives and I realize I barely saw yesterday. Time went into a vacuum and I am left with the black hole. I turn the calendar but cannot recall the past.

The reality is that the present is where I always reside. I do not deny a hope for the future or dismiss reverence for the past, but I can never leap or return. I am here and here is me.

Jesus met us in the present. From the timeless He stepped into time, and this to show His concern for the now.

How often do I fail to see that, in addition to the trials that are here, all things join that trial as well. Goodness from heaven cannot always be in the future if given from a God that is now. Perfect peace cannot reside only in the past of its prince is here now. The eternal one not only controls time but encompasses it. The only time I can live is now.

I do not wish to wish away the today I do not want. I have to live from today to today for today is all I have.

Each moment is necessary for the next; and this so I might love what is before me, not for what it does to me but for who it makes me. I shall love the moments that make me so that I might be a moment that makes another.

It is this connectedness that brings me joy. It is the communal refinement of a broken people that reveals the importance of me living my today along with all others. May we not inadvertently wish away our sanctification by trying to live what has not yet come or remain in what has already gone. May the grace of God keep us all in our today with a joyful hope for our next.