a fast revelation

Wow! All I can say is wow. God is good. If He is not, then pain has no purpose. I will tell you what happened in the past day.

Yesterday my floor fasted all day from food. We took time throughout the day to have community prayer with one another, but we were trying to promote an attitude of prayer in whatever we were doing. Obstaining from food makes us realize the sustaining energy that food provides. In response, we can see how much greater the Lord sustains us because He is the one that provides our daily food. When fasting, the times of greatest hunger should provoke our minds to think of the Lord and to ask Him for satisfaction instead of turning to a sandwich.

I do not put a tag on fasting and say that it magically brings about miracles in and of itself. However, when we seek the Lord with all of our hearts, we tend to see Him working in ways that we may not realize on a daily basis. Fasting makes us more aware of the little things that the Lord does for us. To be honest, my day of fasting did not go well. It wasn't that I kept sneaking food, but more that I did not want to seek the Lord. This has been a problem of mine for a few weeks and I was not seeing any response from the Lord as I asked Him to prod me to seek Him. I felt cold and I felt lonely.

We broke the fast at around ten o'clock last night with a good number of the men on the floor. We opened with music and a short testimony of what my friend Jake had experienced during the day. His results were very positive as He was able to focus greatly on the Lord. As we ate some cheese, apples, and honey, we heard more people speak of their good experiences that they had had. I was having none of it as my day, quite honestly, was no good. Then it came time for me to share. I could not be dishonest. I told everyone how my day had gone and that I was worn down from seeking and not finding. I knew that the Lord was the only one who could satisfy me, but I didn't want to go to Him because I felt He had left the scene. This scared me as I caught a glimpse of, what I thought, my faith slipping.

In reality, I was not slipping. The Lord knew that it was enough. He knew that it was time for Him to reveal Himself to me once again. This came about as the next hour or so was spent hearing testimonies of how broken many of the men on the floor were. Many of us are being tortured inside by different circumstances. Some of us broke down, me being one of them. We then just sang and prayed for healing. We prayed that as we were completely empty of all other hope besides the Lord, that He would fill us with peace. Healing came to our floor. I should not say that everyone is completely fine, but we had a time of new beginning. Graciously, the Lord came to me and filled me. My dispair is gone. I feel Him once again. What a blessing it is.

It is incredible to know that he Lord only lets His children go so far in their suffering and then He steps in. He allows the refining fire to blaze and burn in us until that dross is removed. It is all within His control. His love is too great to allow it to consume us completely if we have been called to His side.

I am going home this weekend. I am going home to digest all that has happened thus far in the semester. I can finally absorb the beauty of my trip to China and see how the Lord worked. I can rest and see how what all the Lord has taught me in some of the hardest spiritual times I have had in my life. I can be with my family who is excited to see me. I am loved by them and I have something to go home to. My heavenly Father is the same way. He wanted me to come back to Him and see the love He has for me. I won't argue it. There is no place I'd rather be.

How marvelous, How Wonderful, and my song shall ever be
How marvelous, How Wonderful, is my Savior's love for me