Getting Back

What a beautiful thing it is to get back to what you know is right. This is not some place specifically or an activity that just "completes" you in some way. I am talking about getting back into the place where you know you are loved and cared for: the arms of God. Being in Chicago this semester has once again began to affirm me that I am here because the Lord has declared that I should do so. The peace that He promises to give when we are serving Him is enough to make me stay put and soak it up.

This peace would be quite uncertain if I did not see any fruit from being here both in my own life as well as in the lives of the other brothers on this floor that I live on. The pain that has gone and is going through Culby 3 is being surpassed by the joining together of believers and the sharpening of iron by iron. The questions that we all have, the uncertainties, the doubts; they all are present but are combated by the joining of hearts in community and lifting up of one another. Some are at their lowest point and some are on the mountaintop. We cannot survive without each other's circumstances. Those who have joy can spill over to those who feel empty and minister to their pain. We expect the tide to turn sometime and those who were giving of themselves so graciously will become the men who need to be invested in more intentionally. This is brotherhood. This is the Body.

It brings me to tears to think of the faithfulness of God in my life compared to the unfaithfulness I return to Him. But, these tears must be tears of joy and thankfulness because of the grace I have received instead of tears that resurrect the knowledge of my corrupt being. God forbid that I turn the attention to myself and overlook the gift that has been offered me so freely. Even in pain and sorrow, we are not to be self-centered with our thinking. Conversely, in our blessing and joy we are to keep our eyes toward heaven so that we are ever reminded that no amount of hard work or worth have we that could have brought about such things.

I am finding this in my own life. Am I praying so that others will hear a good prayer? Am I even writing this solely for the purpose of receiving recognition? My selfish nature is so deeply rooted that I cannot even recognize its ugly face. My mouth moves and the noise comes out, but do the praise choruses ring true in my heart? I should think that my mouth would be better closed than spewing lies. I am not without hope. I am recognizing the depth of my depravity and so can remedy the heart of the problem. And there you have it; my heart is the problem. But, I am coming back. I am being wooed by the Lover of my soul, the King of my being, my Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ. I am coming back. I am seeing once again what it means to die to self and surrender all. I am not there, but I am coming back.

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ. From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work." Ephesians 4:15-16