Sweetly broken

O my heart aches. How wonderful to be in this place. I have nothing to give but my will. At the cross I can only cling. Days come when I foolishly believe that all is well. Days like today that bring to the surface what pain has been masked. Yet, this is too sweet to be sorrowful. I have too much joy to be brought to dispair. Such a tender voice whispers into my heart. Such a Savior I have.

I have come to believe that my heart belongs in brokenness. This brokenness is my necessary condition as I encounter this life. It is because I cry for the lost that I continue to pray for them. It is because I cannot find hatred in my heart that I find my anger to be just. It is because I weep the continuous crucifixion of God's blessing that I find that my heart is growing in truth. It is because of my unrest when I neglect the lover of my soul that His Word heals my wounds and gives solace to my waning strength.

I welcome this brokenness because it is the only thing that grows me. I am undeserving of such a blessing, but welcome it with open arms. I dare not wish away the presence of the Living God. He is my portion. He is my strength. I can serve no other.

O God, You are so good! My heart was made for Thee! Let me live in Thy strength. Unveil my heart to see Thy ever-present work. Break me each day that I may grieve as Thou dost for the lost; that I learn only then to minister as Thy servant. Keep me in this place. Amen
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"At the cross You beckon me
You draw me gently to my knees, and I am
Lost for words, so lost in love,
I’m sweetly broken, wholly surrendered"

Jeremy Riddle - Sweetly broken

Becoming Intellectual

Usually I am spurred to write because of a book that I am reading at the moment. Today is no exception. The book Love Your God With All Your Mind by J.P. Moreland is stretching me in a new way. My mind is no longer exclusive to one type of input. I am in the process of becoming more intellectual and, in the process, developing true wisdom.

I believe that my generation, the generation behind me, and countless future generations are heading down a path to mental distruction. I myself have grown into this habit of neglecting my mind and its necessity to be stretched and challenged on a day to day basis. I have been numbed by sensory overload. I can sit passive in front of a television for a few hours or even on this computer and mindlessly blow two hours. I do not think this is an accident.

We are being taught that it is okay to let others think for ourselves. Sure, we get this superficial and insincere lecture throughout our primary and secondary education about pushing ourselves. However, we are only being conditioned to think in a straight line that prepares us for a future career. We are taught to focus on one area of education and find the best way of accomplishing all the necessary tasks so that we can make money. However, those one track minds tend to follow an eerily similar path: Artistry.

Don't get me wrong, I love art. I love and appreciate talented photographers, film makers, and drawers, but art is now being shown as an acceptable escape from being well-rounded. Art is being incorporated into everything and trumping that which it is supposed to supplement. I am not saying that it is wrong to incorporate visual aesthetics into advertising, but we tend to stop at the front cover and not delve into the actual material, if there even is substance. From politics to Christianity, we see that the people who have the most flash, the most glitter, or the best advertisment to be the most successful. However, success is seen in money and numbers (amount) and not in individual intellect.

Our society is so completely consumed with being entertained both in our ears and our eyes that we couldn't care less if the information being shown is worth watching. Let's be honest. Take a look at the young children. Heck, look at my peers in college right now. How many hate math? How many read for pleasure? How many people would rather tune in to their ipod instead of having to face the sights, sounds, and (oh my!) conversations that may result from walking on this earth? We have been classically conditioned that those who question are those who #1 are annoying and #2 will not make any money. However, since all society believes this, the reality is that any thinker is annoying and actually does not make money.

Instead of challenging the business ethics of big corporations, we settle for being ignorant of the exploitation of foreign child-labor. Christians get bent out of shape at the sexual immorality of this world as seen modern advertising but are not convicted enough to realize that it starts in every individual mind. Thus, we have church leaders addicted to porn, we have pastors sleeping with women other than their wives, and we see the youth pastor's movie collection to be not far off from the average immature high schooler.

Self-centeredness consumes us. Thus, if we have to be challenged by a book, by an equation, or by a probing question from a true intellectual we duck out by saying that we won't be using this in the future. Yes, you probably won't need that equation to fuction in the real world, but your mind grows in knowledge with every challenge it takes on. Maybe, just maybe, reading that tough book will develop discipline to stick with a future work project. Funny how we cannot see the virtues and values that grow when we have to think hard. Funny how we see the virtues and values of America go out the window when we don't have to think. We are content with walking around with small minds that only tackle the issues that prevent us from being successful in our careers.

It makes me sick to see my attitude towards critical thinking. I realize that I am extremely limited in my knowledge because I only restrict myself to information that appeals to my interests. However, even writing this and thinking about why I am troubled about my mind's condition stretches me. It starts in the mind. What we have put in is what we are getting out. We are conforming to those very things which we think about. This works in both positive and negative ways. Just ask your average dirty-minded, currupt businessman or your perverted, adulterous pastor.

I am going to go do a Sudoku.

Romans 12:2 -- Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

The Pursuit of God

I am reading The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer and I am finding so much peace within his wisdom. I will let this speak for itself:

"The sincere, plain man knows that the world is real. He finds it here when he wakes to consciousness, and he knows that he did not think it into being. It was here waiting for him when he came, and he knows that when he prepares to leave this earthly scene it will be here still to bid him goodbye as he departs.

By the deep wisdom of life he is wiser than a thousand men who doubt. He stands upon the earth and feels the wind and rain in his face, and he knows that they are real. He sees the sun by day and the stars by night. He sees the hot lightning play out of the dark thundercloud. He hears the sounds of nature and the cries of human joy and pain.

These he knows are real. He lies down on the cool earth at night and has no fear that it will prove illusory or fail him while he sleeps. In the morning the firm ground will be under him, the blue sky above him and the rocks and trees around him as when he closed his eyes the night before. So he lives and rejoices in a world of reality.

With his five sense he engages this real world. All things necessary to his physical existence he apprehends by the faculties with which he has been equipped by the God who created him and placed him in such a world as this.

Now by our definition also God is real. He is real in the absolute and final sense that nothing else is. All other reality is contingent upon His. The great Reality is God, the Author of that lower and dependent reality which makes up the sum of created things, including ourselves.

God has objective existence independent of and apart from any notions which we may have concerning Him. The worshiping heart does not create its Object. It finds Him here when it wakes from its mortal slumber in the morning of its regeneration."

A.W. Tozer


Amen

Letting Go

My life takes continuous curves and turns that I do not forsee. Many of these changes are good in the sense that any person might define. However, I have found it dumbfounding that I can see good in the worst of situations. Every part of me wants to deny the possibility hope, but I am utterly consumed by the promises of God. I simply cannot slough off the truth of God's Word.
I have lost my best friend. My brother is lost. He is not dead in the physical sense, but is dying spiritually. This may lead to physical death, but for now, his life is being sustained. Now, if there is one thing I value in my relationships, it is the spiritual condition of their heart. If I lose a friend in their physical body yet know that their spirit was alive and is now experiencing eternity, I have no reason to dispair. But this is not the case with my brother. My brother is gone.
I will not stop praying for him. I know that the Lord can lift him out of the pit at any moment. However, there is no desire for help within his heart.
He does not realize what he is doing. He is consumed with self-centeredness. This makes friendship hard as well as love. I am letting go. I am not giving up hope, but I must let go. This is the most loving thing I can do. Disagree if you want, but I love him so much that I must stop. If I don't, then loving turns into enabling.
I did not realize how much pain letting go entails. I think we think of pursuing love as the hardest. I have realized that it is really TRUE love that is the hardest. It consists of both a time of pursuit and a time of letting go.
I am not letting go because I have been used too many times. I am not letting go because I have been lied to so many times. I am not letting go because I will not be taken the fool once again. Letting go as the result of these reasons would mean that I value my pride too much to continue. I don't deserve any kind treatment. This world is fallen because of my sin. I am fully deserving of being made the fool until the day of my death. No, I am letting go because Christ commands us to in His Word.

1 Corinthians 5:5 "hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.

This text in 1 Corinthians 5 talks about expelling the immoral brother. The key word here is brother. Paul is writing about a brother in the church, in the body of Christ. I am handing my brother over to Satan so that he will hit the bottom and realize that it is only the Lord that sustains him. I am doing this so that his spirit may be saved. I stand on the promise of God. I am not ashamed of my decision. I will stand firm. I do not enjoy doing this, but I take the peace of the Lord with me as I trust that His will be done. I pray for utter dispair and emptiness as he wallows in his sin. I pray this with the hope that he finds the hope and fulfillment that is only in the name of Jesus Christ.

I love you brother

Psalm 131

My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters

or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul;

like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord

both now and forevermore.

Amen

weekend update

Well, it is smack dab in the middle of the weekend. First off, I want to point out that time warped this past week. I checked the date one day and it was February 26th. One day later it was March 2. I almost freaked out. Anyway, some cool things have happened so far this weekend and the rest is looking pretty good as well.

#1 The blog about praying for what seemed impossible to become reality...well that happened last night. I went to the night club to pray for the people there with a buddy of mine and we ended up leaving a man with a Bible and a broken heart regarding his sinful ways. There were tears of sorrow and heartful repentence. What is so impossible about the situation? This guy has been a drunk for 14 years. This man was drunk when we met him. The Lord gave him clarity of speech and thought while we spoke with him despite his intoxication. Praise be to God for the work He did. I was so blind that I didn't even see what was happening until it was all over. My friend and I were blessed to be used as His instruments.

#2 Derek Webb is coming to Moody tomorrow for both a Q & A and a concert. It should be good to hear his views on current topics as he is a proponent Christ affecting society both here and across the world. I am excited to hear what his views are and to be challenged to think in new ways.

#3 I have the privilege of reading the Bible for my class assignments. What a blessing to enjoy what you read. What a blessing to be changed by what you study. Even though there is a lot to do, I am confident that the diligence of reading God's Word is effecting my entire being.

We shall see how the rest of the weekend pans out. This next week is the last week before spring break. Here at this fine institution we get two weeks for spring break. But, between now and next Friday I have much to do. I'd better get going and do it.