Sabbath

Sundays are a great way to end the week. They surely didn't used to be for me. Anymore, the prospect of a Sabbath rest brings joy and peace to my soul. No longer is the week grasping for something to call the apex. Formerly, I would spend seven days going from place to place or activity to activity desperately searching for a key moment that might label my efforts successful or unsuccessful. Monday would come and so would the internal blandness. Occasionally, a transient triumph might come my way, but all in all, there remained nothing to strive for.

I am seeing the value in purposeful pursuit that leads to ultimate seizure. Even when failure comes, at least I was venturing for some conscious prize. Flippant, day to day living has led me to depression and boredom. Life sucks when good things only happen on a whim. The occasional blessing from the sky is surely welcomed but not as a substitute for the consummation of purposeful endeavor.

I sit here doing nothing special. Nick Drake is soothing me with his piano while generic food items accompany him. It seems strange that an evening meal of condensed soup with teflon flakes would make me smile, but I have planned this day. I find joy in doing whatever I want as long as it is a complete break from the norm. I am not working on homework. I may read for a couple of hours and feel rejuvenated. I may take a nap and, without guilt, thoroughly enjoy it. I may spend a couple hours with my church family and recharge from that communion. I might daydream about the future and contemplate what in the world my next step will be and with whom I might want to take it.

Life is simple on Sunday. The other six days need to differ greatly in comparison so as to not ruin the elegance of my rest. Finding the strength and energy to persevere in my work is tough, but the rigid absoluteness of my Sabbath pushes me to complete the task. Working hard helps me to rest well. If I don't rest well, I can't work hard. A nice little tension exists in this dichotomy. I think God might have had something going for Him with regards to this seventh day. How ironic it is that I might benefit from it as well.